So I went on a date last week, let me start by saying that it’s safe to say that I will never answer another text from this man.
Why is that you ask? Well first of all he was just a negative person and had a lot of negative things to say about black men and women… He obviously didn’t know who he was talking to.
Anyway amongst a whole lot of other things surgery came up. He was shaming black women for getting surgery, insulting them actually. Now before I continue, I will admit that this craze has gotten out of control. But people, this isn’t the part of the issue that we should be so focused on. The issue is why has it gotten so out of control. We fix the why we may be able to get somewhere.
So BlackAtItBlog, what is the why? Well why does anyone alter their appearance – whether its going under the knife or rocking new bangs? They either:
- Are seeking affirmation
- Feeling forced to conform
- Been feed a cultural standard of beauty they don’t fit in to
I’ll be focusing on black women because I feel like society holds us to a higher standard in comparison to women of other races. To some, we have to be or have 10 times more of something to be considered to be at the same level of attractiveness (or anything else) as other women.
We have to pro-actively learn to love ourselves and our features because society teaches us that our features, our attributes our personalities, our strength, etc is ugly and undesirable… and that is fucking traumatic as fuck. I’m also not shaming the idea or the people who decide to get surgery. I’m more concerned with the reasons why some people do so.
What would help us in our pro-active efforts? Affirmation from the opposite sex of our same race #OhHeyBlackMen. Now I’m not putting black men or ignoring my kings out there. Actually this is a two way street, please let me know what you need from us. But for the sake of this post I’m saying that more visible love and admiration for black women, of all sizes, shapes, and colors will most likely result in less surgery.
Of course we have influential influencers going under which also plays a big part. I’m not really sure I have the answer to that at this particular moment. And conformity in the form of changing our appearance to fit in or for a white dominated career is something that I’ll hit on in another piece.
Back to this affirmation. Seeing more black women in music videos is a start. Believe it or not hip hop has a huge affect on society, hence the new wave of Japanese trap artists. Women casted in these videos is what is being defined as desirable to both men and women. Why isn’t the average woman in a hip hop video a black woman? Why are the picture stills on the (black outlet) Worldstars Vine Comp of The week mostly white women? Now I’m not saying that black women should be seen solely as sex symbols and video vixens. But you can deny the impact that this has on society, and if these major international black outlets don’t define black women as desirable as other races then that thought will continue amongst other races.
In real life, affirmation for black women and their looks and values by black men and society will correlate with the decrease of surgery.
I told the guy I went on a date with and he didn’t want to hear me because he was a confused person in life and I accept that, hmph.
Black men, I see you out here shining and respecting black women. I love you, I see you and I’m not ragging on you. I love it so much that I want to see it all the time, in every place, by everyone of you. I appreciate it, I live for it.
Black women I’m not saying that we need men, or society to feel good about ourselves. I am saying that some love from both is a good thing and has amazing mental and emotion effects… and physical effects like a decrease in plastic surgery.