Love is Love. I mean, I’m sure that when you find the love of your life you’ve assumably grown attached to their insides just as much as their outsides.
However… At what point do we look at the larger perspective and say, ‘hey I recognize and acknowledge this huge number of men, especially influential men, dating light skin women, or women outside of their race’.
Now lets be clear, this isn’t a light skin dark skin beef between us ladies. It’s just taking some time to try to understand what some men are gravitating towards, how the global definition of beauty could be influencing men of color, and what that could mean for all of us.
A friend of mine at Morehouse College had a professor who brought up this issue during one of her classes. She asked if her students had any bias towards dark skin women when it came to dating. They said no. She then asked them to think about all the women they’ve dated. Did they all look the same? Is it safe to say that indicated some sort of subconscious preference?
Of course we see this issue when it comes to many black male celebrities. Lets not trivialize how large of an impact celebrities and media have. I mean, we have Hilary Clinton dabbing for votes… Have you seen the trap music craze in Japan? In this day and age it matters that rappers are choosing ‘exotic’ women over dark skin videos in there videos just as much as it matters that we see dark skin women in power positions.
So here we have this trend of many black men not forming intimate relationships with black women. We also have information from articles like the New York Times ‘1.5 Million Missing Black Men’. This article in particular does a quick analysis of the ratio of black men to black women. It seems like the ‘gender gap’ is smaller during childhood, but as we age a drastic imbalance is created.
The article says that because of this gap, men can be less prone to engage in serious relationships because they have more options. Is this what causes the popular behavior of accepting cheating and disrespect? Do women feel like the pickings are so small that they have to lower their standards to keep a man.
So, now we have influential men of color publicly shifting away from black women, especially darker women, and an imbalance in gender population.
What are we women to do? How to we respond to this? Do we get angry? I mean God forbid we become angry, black and a woman at the same time. Do we change our appearance, ‘focus on ourselves’, or do we just count ourselves out? I mean we all have the option to date outside our race, but what if we don’t want to?
As a single black woman I am concerned about the overall relationship between black men and black women. To me, factors that are segregating us are strong and are growing, which is sad because black love is magic.
It’s also very possible that I am a bias product of my own environment. Single parent house hold… shoot, damn there single parent neighborhood. A relationship history that could be flipped into a Sista Souljah book.
Tell me y’all, am I trippin?